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  PRAISE FOR A STRANGE LOOP

  “Subversive, polymorphous genius … Identity crisis is the engine that drives this dense, whirling gyre of code-switching satire and metatheatrical self-discovery to dazzling effect.”

  —DAVID COTE, OBSERVER

  “One of the most original and exciting works of the past twenty years.”

  —ELYSA GARDNER, NEW YORK STAGE REVIEW

  “Rich with clever comedy and eviscerating honesty … Michael R. Jackson’s heady metamusical starts strong and goes to lots of strong places … By diving into the excruciatingly personal, he finds the broadly human.”

  —SARA HOLDREN, NEW YORK

  “One hundred uninterrupted minutes of the rawest, funniest, most uncomfortably honest musical you’re likely to see all year.”

  —ZACHARY STEWART, THEATERMANIA

  “Exhilarating … A Strange Loop is bolstered by vibrant songs and cutting lyrics … The abundantly talented Jackson takes the otherwise tired trope of the young, poor, and sensitive artist trying to discover his true self and make it in New York, then adds layer upon layer of personal angst from a fresh and startling perspective. Offers bracing insights into the endless strata of conflicts faced by those who are young, gifted, and Black—and so much more.”

  —FRANK RIZZO, VARIETY

  “Genuinely breathtaking because it forces you to gasp before you break out laughing … Jackson wrote the music, lyrics, and the book for A Strange Loop. Usually, that three-hat trick in the musical theater world is the mark of death. Jackson wears all hats with fabulous style.”

  —ROBERT HOFLER, WRAP

  “While A Strange Loop is clever and funny, it is also very raw and not for the faint of heart. Jackson pulls no punches in his language or his exploration of [the character] Usher’s experiences.”

  —DONNA HERMAN, NEW YORK THEATRE GUIDE

  “A clever, tuneful, and gloriously neurotic mix of self-exploration and social commentary, A Strange Loop features bouncy and energetic theater-pop melodies propelling lyrics infused with wittily expressed angst … Sharp and funny.”

  —MICHAEL DALE, BROADWAY WORLD

  “Michael R. Jackson’s semi-autobiographical A Strange Loop transforms oversharing into high art … A score that’s fresh, unpredictable, and inextricably blended with the book and lyrics … An intriguing odyssey with plenty of momentum, fresh melodies, and artful lyrics that explore essential elements of the human condition.”

  —CHARLES WRIGHT, CURTAINUP

  “Jackson is an undisputedly talented and promising young artist … Inventive touches and songs full of both spark and sensitivity.”

  —MATT WINDMAN, AMNY

  A STRANGE LOOP

  A STRANGE LOOP

  BOOK, MUSIC, AND LYRICS BY

  Michael R. Jackson

  THEATRE COMMUNICATIONS GROUP / NEW YORK / 2020

  A Strange Loop is copyright © 2020 by Michael R. Jackson

  A Strange Loop is published by Theatre Communications Group, Inc.,

  520 Eighth Avenue, 24th Floor, New York, NY 10018-4156

  All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio or television reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

  Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that this material, being fully protected under the Copyright Laws of the United States of America and all other countries of the Berne and Universal Copyright Conventions, is subject to a royalty. All rights, including but not limited to, professional, amateur, recording, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio and television broadcasting, and the rights of translation into foreign languages are expressly reserved. Particular emphasis is placed on the question of readings and all uses of this book by educational institutions, permission for which must be secured from the author’s representative: Derek Zasky, William Morris Endeavor Entertainment, 11 Madison Avenue, 18th Floor, New York, NY 10010, (212) 903-1396.

  “Strange Loop,” Words and Music by Liz Phair, copyright © 1993 Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC and Civil War Days Music. All Rights Administered by Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, 424 Church Street, Suite 1200, Nashville, TN 37219. International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved. Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard LLC.

  The publication of A Strange Loop by Michael R. Jackson, through TCG’s Book Program, is made possible in part by the New York State Council on the Arts with the support of Governor Andrew Cuomo and the New York State Legislature.

  Special thanks to the board and staff of Playwrights Horizons for their generous support of this publication, in recognition of outgoing Artistic Director Tim Sanford.

  TCG books are exclusively distributed to the book trade by Consortium Book Sales and Distribution.

  Library of Congress Control Numbers:

  2020035401 (print) / 2020035402 (ebook)

  ISBN 978-1-55936-993-0 (paperback) / ISBN 978-1-55936-994-7 (ebook)

  A catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress.

  Book design and composition by Lisa Govan

  Cover design by Jeff Rogers

  First Edition, November 2020

  A Strange Loop is dedicated to Darius Marcel Smith

  and “all those Black gay boys I knew

  who chose to go on back to the Lord …”

  DARIUS MARCEL SMITH

  (SEPTEMBER 13, 1982–FEBRUARY 25, 2019]

  CONTENTS

  PRODUCTION HISTORY

  SETTING

  CHARACTERS

  SONGS

  INTERMISSION SONG (INTRO]

  [OPENING] INTERMISSION SONG

  TODAY

  WE WANNA KNOW

  INNER WHITE GIRL

  DIDN’T WANT NOTHIN’

  EXILE IN GAYVILLE

  SECOND WAVE

  TYLER PERRY WRITES REAL LIFE

  WRITING A GOSPEL PLAY

  A SYMPATHETIC EAR

  INWOOD DADDY

  BOUNDARIES

  PERIODICALLY

  DIDN’T WANT NOTHIN’ [REPRISE]

  PRECIOUS LITTLE DREAM/AIDS IS GOD’S PUNISHMENT

  MEMORY SONG

  A STRANGE LOOP [FINALE]

  A STRANGE LOOP

  PRODUCTION HISTORY

  A Strange Loop received its world premiere at Playwrights Horizons (Tim Sanford, Artistic Director; Leslie Marcus, Managing Director; Carol Fishman, General Manager) in New York, in association with Page 73 (Michael Walkup, Artistic Director; Amanda Feldman, Managing Director), on June 17, 2019. It was originally developed at Musical Theatre Factory (Shakina Nayfack, Founding Artistic Director). It was directed by Stephen Brackett. It was choreographed by Raja Feather Kelly. The scenic design was by Arnulfo Maldonado, the costume design was by Montana Levi Blanco, the lighting design was by Jen Schriever, the sound design was by Alex Hawthorn, and the orchestrations were by Charlie Rosen; the musical director was Rona Siddiqui and the production stage manager was Erin Gioia Albrecht. The cast was:

  USHER

  Larry Owens

  THOUGHT 1

  L Morgan Lee

  THOUGHT 2

  James Jackson, Jr.

  THOUGHT 3

  John-Michael Lyles

  THOUGHT 4

  John-Andrew Morrison

  THOUGHT 5

  Jason Veasey

  THOUGHT 6

  Antwayn Hopper

  SETTING

  A loop within a loop within a loop inside a perception of one man’s reality.

  CHARACTERS

  Usher: A fat American Black gay man of high intelligence, low self-image, and
deep feelings. He writes stories and songs and wants desperately to be heard. A musical theater writer and Broadway usher.

  Thoughts 1–6: A spectrum of bodies that are Usher’s perceptions of reality inside and out. They come in many shapes and sizes. But they are all Black. And they are as individual in expression as they are a unit.

  SONGS

  Intermission Song (Intro)

  Thoughts

  (Opening) Intermission Song

  Usher, Thoughts

  Today

  Usher, Thoughts

  We Wanna Know

  Thoughts

  Inner White Girl

  Usher, Thoughts

  Didn’t Want Nothin’

  Thoughts

  Exile in Gayville

  Usher, Thoughts

  Second Wave

  Usher

  Tyler Perry Writes Real Life

  Usher, Thoughts

  Writing a Gospel Play

  Usher, Thoughts

  A Sympathetic Ear

  Thought 1

  Inwood Daddy

  Usher, Thoughts

  Boundaries

  Usher

  Periodically

  Usher, Thought 4

  Didn’t Want Nothin’ (Reprise)

  Thought 5

  Precious Little Dream/AIDS Is God’s Punishment

  Usher, Thoughts

  Memory Song

  Usher, Thoughts

  A Strange Loop (Finale)

  Usher, Thoughts

  The fire you like so much in me

  is the mark of someone adamantly free …

  —LIZ PHAIR, “STRANGE LOOP”

  Blackness. Intermission chimes. Lights on Usher with his back to us, ringing chimes from the back of a theater, which manifests as a strange loop in his mind, along with silhouettes of his Thoughts.

  INTERMISSION SONG (INTRO]

  ALL THOUGHTS:

  USHER-USHER! USHER! USHER!

  USHER-USHER! USHER! USHER!

  USHER-USHER! USHER! USHER!

  USHER-USHER! USHER! USHER! …

  (Usher turns around, chiming.)

  USHER: Ladies and gentlemen, please return to your seats; the second act is about to begin! Ladies and gentlemen, please return to your seats; the second act is about to begin! There will be performers running down the aisles and wearing pantaloons and gaudy flowing robes that I think are meant to indicate the wholesome beauty of “Mother Africa”! There will be swinging birds on fishing poles and a Black Ken doll with a crossover dialect in a lion costume! What else? Oh, yes! In the background, there will be a young overweight-to-obese homosexual and/or gay and/or queer, cisgender male, able-bodied university-and-graduate-school-educated, musical-theater-writing, Disney-ushering, broke-ass middle-class far-Left-leaning Black-identified-and-classified American descendant of slaves full of self-conscious femme energy and who thinks he’s probably a vers bottom but not totally certain of that, obsessing over the latest draft of his self-referential musical A Strange Loop! And surrounded by his extremely obnoxious Thoughts!

  USHER:

  ALL THOUGHTS:

  A STRANGE LOOP WILL

  USHER-USHER!

  HAVE BLACK SHIT! AND

  USHER! USHER!

  WHITE SHIT! HE’LL GIVE

  USHER-USHER!

  YOU UPTOWN AND

  USHER! USHER!

  DOWNTOWN! WITH CODE-

  USHER-USHER!

  SWITCHING AND BUTT-

  USHER USHER!

  FUCKING! THERE WILL BE

  USHER-USHER!

  BUTT-FUCKING! SO PLEASE

  USHER! USHER! …

  RETURN TO YOUR SEATS

  BECAUSE—but can I really write this?

  [OPENING] INTERMISSION SONG

  THOUGHT 1:

  HOW MANY MINUTES ’TIL THE

  END OF INTERMISSION?

  THOUGHT 2:

  IS THAT HOW THE SHOW SHOULD OPEN?

  THOUGHT 1:

  SHOULD THERE EVEN BE A SHOW?

  THOUGHT 2:

  NO, IT SHOULD START WITH WHAT HE’S THINKING

  THOUGHT 1:

  WHICH IS JUST A CURSOR BLINKING

  THOUGHTS 1 AND 2:

  ’CAUSE OF ALL OF THE DIRECTIONS

  THAT THE NARRATIVE COULD GO!

  USHER:

  HE WANTS TO SHOW WHAT

  THOUGHTS 1 AND 2:

  IT’S LIKE TO LIVE UP HERE

  OH USHER …

  AND TRAVEL THE WORLD IN A

  FAT, BLACK QUEER BODY

  THOUGHTS 5 AND 6:

  HOW MANY MINUTES ’TIL THE

  END OF INTERMISSION?

  NO ONE CARES ABOUT A WRITER WHO IS

  STRUGGLING TO WRITE

  THOUGHT 4:

  THEY’LL SAY IT’S WAY TOO REPETITIOUS

  THOUGHT 3:

  AND SO OVERLY AMBITIOUS

  THOUGHTS 5 AND 6:

  WHICH OF COURSE MAKES THEM SUSPICIOUS

  THOUGHTS 3 AND 6:

  THAT YOU THINK YOU’RE FUCKING WHITE!

  USHER:

  HE HAS TO FIGHT FOR HIS

  THOUGHTS 3–6:

  RIGHT TO LIVE IN A WORLD

  HEY, USHER …

  THAT CHEWS UP AND SPITS

  OUT BLACK QUEERS

  ON THE DAILY

  THOUGHTS 1 AND 2:

  BLACKNESS, QUEERNESS FIGHTING BACK TO FILL THIS CIS-HET-ALL-WHITE SPACE WITH A—

  THOUGHTS 3 AND 4:

  PORTRAIT OF A PORTRAIT OF A PORTRAIT OF A BLACK QUEER FACE

  THOUGHTS 1–4:

  AND A CHOIR FULL OF BLACK QUEER VOICES, TREBLE CLEF

  THOUGHTS 5 AND 6:

  AND ALSO BASS

  ALL THOUGHTS:

  THAT ARE CASTING SPELLS TO CONJURE UP A

  USHER:

  BIG, BLACK AND QUEER-ASS

  AMERICAN BROADWAY—

  THOUGHTS 4–6:

  BIG, BLACK AND QUEER-ASS

  AMERICAN BROADWAY—

  USHER AND ALL THOUGHTS:

  BIG, BLACK AND QUEER-ASS

  AMERICAN BROADWAY SHOW!

  (Dance Break: Usher and the Thoughts put on a Big, Black and Queer-Ass American Broadway Show.)

  ALL THOUGHTS:

  HOW MANY MINUTES ’TIL THE

  END OF INTERMISSION?

  THOUGHTS 1 AND 4:

  ’TIL HE HAS TO FACE THE FACT THAT

  HE IS REALLY IN A JAM

  THOUGHTS 5 AND 6:

  HE HAS NO PATRONS HE CAN CALL ON

  NOR A BACKUP PLAN TO FALL ON

  THOUGHTS 2 AND 3:

  JUST A HAMSTER WHEEL TO CRAWL ON

  THOUGHTS 1 AND 5:

  AND NOBODY GIVES A DAMN!

  USHER, THOUGHTS 2 AND 6:

  HE TRIES TO SCRAMBLE AND

  THOUGHTS 3 AND 4:

  DODGE OR EXTRICATE STILL

  HEY, USHER …

  HIS FATE LIES IN WAIT LIKE A

  SCAVENGING VULTURE

  USHER AND THOUGHT 3:

  THOUGHTS 1–2, 4–6:

  ALL HE WANTS IS TO SUBVERT

  OH, USHER …

  EXPECTATIONS BLACK AND

  WHITE FROM THE LEFT AND

  THOUGHT 6:

  THE RIGHT FOR THE GOOD OF

  OH, USHER …

  THE CULTURE

  ALL THOUGHTS:

  USHER-USHER! USHER! USHER!

  USHER-USHER! USHER! USHER!

  HOW MANY MINUTES ’TIL THE

  END OF INTERMISSION?

  YOU’RE A BALL OF BLACK CONFUSION THAT KEEPS HITTING A PLATEAU

  THOUGHT 2:

  YOU CAN’T JUST FLOUT EVERY CONVENTION

  THOUGHT 3:

  THEN COMMAND COMPLETE ATTENTION IN A

  USHER:

  BIG, BLACK AND QUEER-ASS

  AMERICAN BROADWAY SHOW!

  THOUGHTS 4–6:

  HOW MANY MINUTES ’TIL THE

  END OF INTERMISSION?

  SOME SAY WRITE FROM EXPLORATION

  SOME SAY JUST WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW

  TH
OUGHT 5:

  BUT EITHER WAY YOU KEEP CAREENING SO IT’S HARD TO FIND THE MEANING IN YOUR—

  USHER:

  BIG, BLACK AND QUEER-ASS

  AMERICAN BROADWAY SHOW!

  ALL THOUGHTS:

  HOW MANY MINUTES ’TIL THE

  END OF INTERMISSION?

  IF YOU CAN’T PLEASE THE CAUCASIANS

  YOU WILL NEVER GET THE DOUGH—

  THOUGHTS 1 AND 2:

  PLUS CRITICS CLINICALLY DENY US

  THEN DENY IMPLICIT BIAS

  THOUGHTS 5 AND 6:

  WITH THEIR VANITY SUPPORTED

  BY A SYSTEM THAT’S DISTORTED

  THOUGHT 4:

  WATCH THEM WRITE YOU OFF AS LAZY

  NOT TO MENTION NAVEL-GAZY

  ALL THOUGHTS:

  LACKING BOTH IN CRAFT AND RIGOR

  THOUGHT 3:

  ’CAUSE YOU’RE JUST

  THOUGHTS 1–2, 4–6:

  A FUCKING [NIG]—

  BIG, BLACK AND QUEER-ASS

  AMERICAN BROADWAY—

  BIG, BLACK AND QUEER-ASS

  AMERICAN BROADWAY—

  ALL THOUGHTS:

  BIG, BLACK AND QUEER-ASS

  AMERICAN BROADWAY—

  ALL THOUGHTS: